The Theory of Gravity

Now, I know some of you don't believe in gravity because it's only a theory (perhaps a contestant for the "Banned Phrases of 2006?"), but nonetheless, please heed the warning of the Houston Police department (and others) and do not shoot your guns into the air at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve. Information here.

Office Holiday Fun!

Not mine, of course.
But if you click here, you will see photos of various office holiday decorations sent in by readers of the Guardian. My favorite is the nativity scene composed of objects people keep on top of their computer monitors. I think I can safely report that the only objects on my monitor are two "sign here" post-it tabs.

Da Bus

In an article in yesterday's post on the metro's bus service, this little gem:
In surveys, Metrobus riders say their biggest concern is that buses stay on schedule. But managers have no idea whether buses run on time; they do not monitor performance.

This explains soooooo much.

Re-gift for a Cause

Lutheran Services of America will be collecting items for its first annual on-line auction, Trading Graces. you can preview items on line. The actual auction will take place in late February, so you still have plenty of time to donate unwanted gifts for the cause. The money raised will go to Lutheran social service organizations throughout the country, which assisted 1 in 50 people last year. Besides, how many Isotoner gloves do you really need?

Merry Christmas!

A quote for today:

Let Christmas not become a thing
Merely of merchant's trafficking,
Of tinsel, bell and holly wreath
And surface pleasure, but beneath
The childish glamour, let us find
Nourishment for soul and mind.
Let us follow kinder ways
Through our teeming human maze,
And help the age of peace to come
From a Dreamer's martyrdom.
~Madeline Morse

The Schoolhouse Door

NPR has an interesting series that started this morning on America's one room schoolhouses. It's always amazing to me that we even still have them (I guess there's a lot of rural America I've never seen.) In Maryland, we closed our last one room schoolhouse in 1997 on Smith Island.
Anyway, you can hear the story and look at photos here.

Christmas Quote du Jour

Okay, technically I suppose it's supposed to be an Advent quote, right? Does that mean we should say "Happy Advent" instead of "Merry Christmas"? But I digress. Ah, well, moving on. We'll start this off on a light note:

"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space."
~Dave Barry

Career Move

I was thinking of enrolling in Criminal-Justice-University. Has anyone heard any good things about them? They send me daily bulk e-mails, so I bet they must be legit.

Holiday tackiness, cont'd

8:37 a.m., Q street between 18th and 17th. A man walking his dog (I would guess a retriever of some sort), dressed as a reindeer, complete with antlers and bells. Now, I thought only small dogs got to wear costumes, but I guess a lap dog dressed as a reindeer might look even sillier.

More on domestic violence

More on the judge who has been suspended pending investigation of his history with domestic violence cases. (This is the judge who denied a restraining order against a man who then went to his separated wife's place of employment and set her on fire.) Among the charming pieces of wisdom, the judge evidently told men accused of domestic violence to find new mates, saying: "Women are like buses--they come by every five minutes." Clearly, like the board members of the WMATA, this judge has never actually ridden a public transit bus.

Public health announcement

For those of you who might be interested, excessive video gameplaying may cause seizures. Of course, this isn't completely new news--wasn't it Pokemon that was sending all those Japanese kids to the hospital? Since I've kicked my Bespelled habit, I haven't really touched computer games, but I might know a person or two who enjoys the occasional game.:)

Which is tackier?

The inflatable Nativity scene (see below) or the Paris Hilton Christmas display?

Christmas Decorations

Vandals destroyed some holiday lawn decorations in Jacksonville, Florida. One homeowner stated: "My 9-foot Nativity was lying flat on the ground. It was cut in two places and probably had two 10-inch gashes in the bottom." Okay, let's talk about the nine foot inflatable Nativity scene. I am all for holiday decorations, we used to drive around and look at the decorations in other neighborhoods before going to Christmas Eve service, we certainly put up lights at our house...but these inflatables have got to go. An inflatable Nativity scene? A 10 foot high Frosty the Snowman wasn't tacky enough?
Judging from what I saw in Massachusetts this past weekend, I think it's becoming a national trend. When did people decide this was cool? Was it after seeing an inspiring article in Kitsch Review or the Ladies' Home Tackiness Journal? It's like the pink flamingos for this decade.
article here.

Tag, I'm It.

Vikings fans, anything to say for yourself?

Amy tagged me to find my 23rd blog post, find the fifth sentence, and post it here. Because I am a spoil-sport, I am not going to tag anyone else. (also, because most of the people I know to tag have already been tagged.)

The blog post was in reference to problems that some Midwestern pastors were having because the Packers-Vikings game was going to be cutting close to the time of the usual Christmas Eve service, and pastors were worried that turnout might be low among those for whom football is a religion. The post was on December 7, 2004.

Borrowing Heavily From My Sister

The list she used had 400+ titles. Really pretty random stuff. but a fun task. (Though I think there should have been a "saw the movie" option as well.)

Bold those you've read. Italicize those you haven't finished. Underline those you own.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. 1984, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corellis Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Sorcerers Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Susskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnights Children, Salman Rushdie
101. Three Men In A Boat, Jerome K. Jerome
102. Small Gods, Terry Pratchett
103. The Beach, Alex Garland
104. Dracula, Bram Stoker
105. Point Blanc, Anthony Horowitz
106. The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens
107. Stormbreaker, Anthony Horowitz
108. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
109. The Day Of The Jackal, Frederick Forsyth
110. The Illustrated Mum, Jacqueline Wilson
111. Jude The Obscure, Thomas Hardy
112. The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 1/2, Sue Townsend
113. The Cruel Sea, Nicholas Monsarrat
114. Les Miserables, Victor Hugo
115. The Mayor Of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy
116. The Dare Game, Jacqueline Wilson
117. Bad Girls, Jacqueline Wilson
118. The Picture Of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde
119. Shogun, James Clavell
120. The Day Of The Triffids, John Wyndham
121. Lola Rose, Jacqueline Wilson
122. Vanity Fair, William Makepeace Thackeray
123. The Forsyte Saga, John Galsworthy
124. House Of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski
125. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
126. Reaper Man, Terry Pratchett
127. Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging, Louise Rennison
128. The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle
129. Possession, A. S. Byatt
130. The Master And Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov
131. The Handmaids Tale, Margaret Atwood
132. Danny The Champion Of The World, Roald Dahl
133. East Of Eden, John Steinbeck
134. Georges Marvellous Medicine, Roald Dahl
135. Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett
136. The Color Purple, Alice Walker
137. Hogfather, Terry Pratchett
138. The Thirty-Nine Steps, John Buchan
139. Girls In Tears, Jacqueline Wilson
140. Sleepovers, Jacqueline Wilson
141. All Quiet On The Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque
142. Behind The Scenes At The Museum, Kate Atkinson
143. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
144. It, Stephen King
145. James And The Giant Peach, Roald Dahl
146. The Green Mile, Stephen King
147. Papillon, Henri Charriere
148. Men At Arms, Terry Pratchett
149. Master And Commander, Patrick OBrian
150. Skeleton Key, Anthony Horowitz
151. Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
152. Thief Of Time, Terry Pratchett
153. The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett
154. Atonement, Ian McEwan
155. Secrets, Jacqueline Wilson
156. The Silver Sword, Ian Serraillier
157. One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, Ken Kesey
158. Heart Of Darkness, Joseph Conrad
159. Kim, Rudyard Kipling
160. Cross Stitch, Diana Gabaldon
161. Moby Dick, Herman Melville
162. River God, Wilbur Smith
163. Sunset Song, Lewis Grassic Gibbon
164. The Shipping News, Annie Proulx
165. The World According To Garp, John Irving
166. Lorna Doone, R. D. Blackmore
167. Girls Out Late, Jacqueline Wilson
168. The Far Pavilions, M. M. Kaye
169. The Witches, Roald Dahl
170. Charlottes Web, E. B. White
171. Frankenstein, Mary Shelley
172. They Used To Play On Grass, Terry Venables and Gordon Williams
173. The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
174. The Name Of The Rose, Umberto Eco
175. Sophies World, Jostein Gaarder
176. Dustbin Baby, Jacqueline Wilson
177. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Roald Dahl
178. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
179. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull, Richard Bach
180. The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery
181. The Suitcase Kid, Jacqueline Wilson
182. Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens
183. The Power Of One, Bryce Courtenay
184. Silas Marner, George Eliot
185. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis
186. The Diary Of A Nobody, George and Weedon Gross-mith
187. Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh
188. Goosebumps, R. L. Stine
189. Heidi, Johanna Spyri
190. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence
191. The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
192. Man And Boy, Tony Parsons
193. The Truth, Terry Pratchett
194. The War Of The Worlds, H. G. Wells
195. The Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans
196. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry
197. Witches Abroad, Terry Pratchett
198. The Once And Future King, T. H. White
199. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle
200. Flowers In The Attic, Virginia Andrews